


Lady Alys Does What Not To Wear, or Welcome to the Fifteen-Year Old Escobaran Ambassador's Daughter

by Zoya1416



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Fashion & Couture, Teen Looks, what not to wear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:05:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady Alys Does What Not To Wear, or Welcome to the Fifteen-Year Old Escobaran Ambassador's Daughter

“I'm so glad to meet you. What a pleasure to have a woman Ambassador from Escobar. Things will be more interesting at all the balls this season.”

“Well, yes, you will have to attend some, but there will be dancing and other young people—no, we do not keep the girls in purdah.”

“Fifteen on Escobar? My. The drinking age here is twenty-one."

(She thinks I don't know it's the same there.)

“Let's take a look at your wardrobe. Throw out all those sarongs. These are even the wrong colors for you. If you must, try a soft blue-green. But not on Barrayar.”

“Are these shoes? 'Tennis shoes?' 'Sneakers?' 'Trainers?'”  
(Clodhoppers, aren't they, Gregor? Why did I say yes to that boy, again?)

“You will not be doing any sneaking while ImpSec is around, nor will you be training anything. You may wear a pair of 'tennis shoes' while playing tennis. White with white laces only. And clean.”

“ImpSec? Imperial Security. They will escort you throughout the city, as bodyguards.”

“No, they will not shoot anyone for you. And no, to forestall your next question, you may not borrow their weapons.”

(Could I just stun her? A little bit?)

“Back to footwear—boots are quite acceptable, especially if you will be walking around the city—no, no, no! Those are soldier's boots! I meant half-boots like mine, and well polished.”

“What are these 'T-shirts?' Do you imagine people take tea while wearing them? All these have words on them—Were you being paid to wear them? Give me all the ones which advertise alcoholic beverages.” 

(Gregor, I am annoyed by this. Can't someone else help the dreadful?)

“Next. Shorts? They are very short, aren't they? Why does this pair greet a kitten? We don't wear these here. Throw them all out.”

“That's a very ugly expression. I'll have to tell your mother—very well, I accept your apology. Let's go on.”

(Maybe a hand pinch? Simon showed me where—) 

“Jeans are worn on other planets, but not here. Only field peasants wear them, and certainly not ragged ones. This is fashion? How sad. Burn them. No, we do not donate clothing such as this to the poor. No, we do not have rag-pickers who take apart clothes for the threads. Did you do any of the reading I know is required for diplomatic children?”

“It would have been more helpful if you had made it through more than one vid of the Time of Isolation, dear. I'll speak to your mother's secretary.” 

(Her mother doesn't love her, does she?)

“Let me advise you, while the Empress has made the wearing of trousers acceptable on many occasions, you must have nice ones. Why would you want fluorescent orange? Oh, I see.”

(I'd love to, though—dress her in an orange jumpsuit and manacles and tell the municipal guard...)

“And this—what is this? I see why it's called a “hoodie.” No.”

“Yes, well, you can see young people, especially poor ones, or poorly brought-up ones wearing them. I can see that they are comfortable—and it does get cold. You may keep one while we buy you suitable bolero jackets and coats.”

“Yes—hairstyles can be more individualized, dear, but the purple isn't even right for your skin type. We can cut it short and fashion it around your face in a frame; it would be very flattering— All right, if you simply remove the gel, you can keep it in a snood, until the color is back to normal.” 

(Or I could get the electric trimmer right now. Two minutes, and she won't have to worry about hair for months. )

“A burkha? No, not at all. We wouldn't even know what those were without those odd families from Lairouba who came last year. But if you would prefer to wear hajib—oh, you were teasing.”

(What did my mother use to say? 'I'll burn your hair with you still in it!') (1)

“Now before you leave, please, hand me all those piercings. Yes, even the earrings. We're decoding Beta's quite well now-does your mother know you are soliciting for big, hairy—thank you. Here are some small gold hoops. I hope you will enjoy your visit.

(Gregor, you rat. Next time they'll get a handout and like it!)

 

(1) This saying is not original to me, although I wish I'd been this clever. I do not remember whose this is; if you know, please get back to me so I can give proper credit.


End file.
